October 22, 2006

Rekindling my love affair with the interwebs

Grad school, I'm discovering, does one of two things: either it isolates you from the internet in an effort to do work and be productive and not flunk out, or it drives you toward the internet in a frantic search for ways to procrastinate. (If, like some friends of mine, your research focuses on the internet, you are driven toward the internet for productivity and you fuck up yet another binary. I knew there was a reason I liked my friends.)

Anyway, I've been operating largely in mode number one for most of this quarter, since I'm not really in the mood for the flunking out. But it's midterm season, and oh looky! I'm back.

That said, in an effort to maximize my non-studying time, I've gone back to reading my favorite sassypants-female-academic blog, Bitch Ph.D. And Dr. B delivers once again, with an analysis of voter intimidation in California, a scathing post about the CA Democratic Party's (screwy) priorities, and - the least serious, but my favorite - an attempt to determine the sexual orientation of her new neighbors:

Me: middle-aged southern californian men in pressed slacks and golf shirts: how can you tell the difference between "wealthy southern cali suburbanite" and "old queen"?
PC: politic answer: you can't! everyone poops...
Me: right, right.
PC: my answer: normally shoes, if socks match the shirt
PC: often car. often through jewelry.
Me: jewelry, check.
Me: i'll have to start checking out my neighbors' cars more closely
PC: old queens have a certain type of jewelry that tries to look young, but middle aged men often have a gold chain or an old high school ring or something
PC: I think though that this population you have stumbled across is very hard to tell: old queens have caught the peterpan syndrome as much as any gay man (unless they are in a committed relationship, and then the tend to "act their age") while middle-aged straight men are often going through a midlife thing.
Me: see? exactly. it's confusing.
Me: alas for the days of the earring code.
PC: as a result, they both act sort of desperate, immature, and solipsistic
Me: well, see, this is why i need to know. because if they're old queens, great: we'll get along like peas in a pod. but if they're middle-aged suburbanite straight guys, i don't want them to hit on me.
PC: you just can't tell by the bling and penis cars, you have to look for certain types of bling and penis cars. And, I'm not up on stuff enough to tell if a Land Rover is straight and Range Rover is gay gay gay.
It just keeps getting funnier. (PC, by the way, is blogger Phutatorius' Chestnut.) Anyway, it reminds me of the old game: "European or gay?" (Gay Europeans, as we all know, don't exist. Neither do gay middle-aged California suburbanites.)

My other fantastic interweb crush is the Queer Zine Archive Project, spiffily known as QZAP. We're not in there yet (we'll work on it, ok?), but in the meantime, you can download back issues of (among other damn cool zines):

  • Short and Queer (any guesses why yours truly - at just under 5' tall - loves this one?)
  • Mutate Zine (which I'm enjoying so much online that I've sent away for a paper issue)
  • Souhaq (a brand-new zine from Helem Girls, "Lebanese women with unconventional sexualities")
So, yeah. I could be studying for midterms, but ... why? (aside from the flunking-out-is-bad thing)

(ETA: the whole Blogspot-server-being-down thing is also a good incentive to get offline and start studying ... before I take out my frustration on my innocent computer)

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