July 12, 2006

WARREN!

... or, "I wanna drop a litter of little Warren Ellises and toss 'em in a pit to grow up big an' strong and insane like their father". Here's todays scathing BADSIGNAL:

Editors and offices should not bug me today. Went to bed at 4am. Woken at 6 by postman. Woken at 8 by postman again. Woken at 10 by FedEx. Woken at 12 by DHL. Woken at 1.30 by some shit trying to sell me something. I am utterly wrecked now. The Red Bull, it does nothing. And some dick in the pub thought it'd be funny to close all the windows and turn the place into a sweatbox.

But it could be worse. I could be working at Warner Bros today. SUPERMAN RETURNS conservatively cost $250 million to make. Probably the same again to promote. It took $21M this weekend, eaten alive by PIRATES. The studio gets about half the box office takings. In America, WB's cumulative slice of SR's takings amount to around $50M.

As Fraction said to me Sat night, producer Jon Peters is probably sleeping with a gun in his mouth.

Is it conceivable that something that took fifty-odd million in its first weekend could be a flop? I said of KING KONG that for that film's budget, I could grow my own giant fucking monkey. $250 million puts you in spacelaunch-budget territory. For $250 million WB could've given Bryan Singer his own communications satellite and spent the change on a George Clooney movie. Or two Wes Anderson movies. It's an astonishing volume of cash that, at this stage, they don't have a prayer of making back worldwide or on DVD.

This is the absurdity of modern Hollywood; that taking more than the GNP of Luxembourg in a single weekend is not actually enough to put a movie in the black.

It's no wonder that everyone I meet these days wants to work in TV.

And did you catch Sunday's DEADWOOD?

Why yes, Warren, I did. Fucking brilliant, too. Dialogue made me wanna come, actually.

Do you want to see the pit I've dug out back for our mob?

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