March 10, 2006

Fred Phelps is Right!

Homosexuality is wrong. God gave me a sign.

Bear with me, quench. I know this concept is hard for you, but I didn't understand his original logic, so I have developed a new one based on the sign that I saw.

  1. Sometimes, if one is a homosexual, one dates, hooks up with, is attracted to, has relations with, etc. someone of a similar gender to one's own.
  2. Sometimes, people of similar genders wear similar styles of underwear. (This obviously never happens with two people of different genders.)
  3. Sometimes, two people who date, hook up, are attracted to each other, have relations, etc. are of very different sizes.
  4. Sometimes, fags wear tight pants.
  5. When one accidentally picks up a pair of undergarments that are way too big and wears tight pants over them, this is extremely uncomfortable. If this ever happens to you, you will know that God hates you.

It is a SIGN! Tight pants over baggy undergarments is a sign that God hates homosexuals!


spork said...

I'm confused. What was on the sign?

I agree that God Hates Baggy Underwear Under Tight Pants. Because that's awkward.

LeDiva said...

Clearly this means queers need to coordinate their underwear choices with their partners.

"No, honey... I wore the boxers yesterday. And the thong's in the wash. So it's panties or nothing."

icarus said...

Some of us are waay too femmey for their significant other to mistake their lingerie for anyone else's.


emily2 said...

um, i have a small ass and my girlfriend has a plump juicy one. so if she wore my pants, they would be tight.

that's my contribution for today.

wannatakethisoutside said...

I can't tell if spork is kidding...

raine said...

i don't think that spork is kidding. i haven't seen it either...maybe spaine will just be left out of this joke :(

word of the day: hogvqpzo, or a game in the 1990's that never really took off because it was said to encourage homosocial behavior.

wannatakethisoutside said...

From my post "Homosexuality is wrong. God gave me a sign." It was not a literal sign. It was a "sign from god" kind of sign.

Although more of a joke.

maudite entendante said...

Yeahhh ... and then there are those of us with partners of a dissimilar gender, who wear distinct styles of underwear, but who sometimes run behind on laundry and end up borrowing baggy boxers under tight girly jeans regardless of t3h gay.

he, mufey! - a nonnative English speaker's take on a common street insult. Judging by the apparent accent, I'd say the speaker is also missing a couple teeth.

Anonymous said...

A female is a similar gender to a male. They are very close you know. So, now we can all be homosexuals!