today is the day of wildlife posts. Just one more.
“Once we explain to the penguins how important monogamy is and that it’s what Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Savior wants for them, we’re sure they’ll stop sleeping around. And we’ll tell them they’ll be eaten by a seal and burn in hell if they aren’t heterosexual.”Yay for Gay Penguins!
But that’s not the only change the Reverend and his wife hope to make. They’re not any too thrilled with the penguins sharing of egg hatching duties. “It’s just not natural,” said Reverend LaPierre. “When I saw that male penguin sit on that egg and pull it up inside him, I just about puked my popcorn.” Adds Lucille, “You try and explain to a four-year old how God means babies to come from mommies’ tummies right after he just saw plain as day a man penguin lay an egg. It’s an abomination. I’m sure it says so somewhere in Leviticus.”
In case it wasn't obvious, the moose post is actually real.