January 08, 2006

A call to my cell phone

Caller: Hi. Um, I have a question.
Me: What's up?
Caller: You know that friend of yours I was hitting on last night?
Me: More like making out with and trying to bone in full site of many people?
Caller: {caller laughs} yeah, that one.
Me: What about that friend?
Caller: Well, this is awkward.
Me: Uh... Ok...
Caller: Um, well, I think your friend is the hottest person ever. Like, really, really hot.
Me: Probably because it's true.
{we both laugh}
Caller: So is {person's name} a guy or a girl?
Me: Why are you asking me?
Caller: Well, I'm gay so I only like guys.
Me: It sounds like you like .
Caller: Well, yeah. Oh my god, yeah.
Me: So, maybe you could ask {person's name} yourself? I mean, does whether you like them or not depend on their gender?
Caller: Are you going to tell them that I'm gay so that they end up saying the gender that I want to hear?
Me: Um, no. {person}'s gender is probably not about you.
Caller: Oh.
{long pause}
Caller: This conversation was awkward, wasn't it?
Me: Yeah.
Caller: Oh. Ok.
{long pause}
Caller: Well, I gotta go. I guess I'll ask if they're a boy or a girl.
Me: Maybe ask their pronouns? Unless you need some sort of gender identity history for some reason...?
Caller: That's a good idea.
Me: But does that really relate to the fact that you want to do them?
Caller: I guess not... But I'm gay, see. I don't do girls.
Me: Oh... Even if you like them?
Caller: Yeah.
Me: Oh.
Caller: Or no. I don't know. Shit. I gotta go.

3 comments:

spork said...

haha wow...

word is mtvmeic, a kind of arythmia that sometimes occurs after prolonged exposure to really stupid dancing

icarus said...

that NEEDS to be a page in the next zine.

maudite entendante said...

How did this end up playing out, btw?