December 10, 2005

I'm not a lesbian, I'm just not interested in *you.*

aka: These boots are made for ... fucking women?

I get the weird ones, I'm telling you...*

So, my cross-country odyssey from Big University City to Big Hometown City involved much crossing through airport security yesterday. Since it was blizzardy in Big University City, I was wearing my Fabulous Pirate Boots (tm), which I love and which protect my feet from banks of snow tall enough to swallow golden retriever puppies whole.

Now, I had to take the boots off to go through security, and it took me a while to get my stuff together on the other side of the metal detector before they even came down the conveyor belt to me. During this time, as I put my laptop back into my backpack, my iPod into my pocket, my coat on my arms, etc., I noticed the chap behind me in the line looking at me shyly and smiling. I smiled back politely, if a little grumpily, airport security not being a setting which is generally conducive to perkiness on my part.

Then my boots come down the line and I start to wrestle them back onto my feet, over my jeans ... and the guy's face falls, and I hear him say (apparently to himself), "Oh ... nevermind ..."

I turn, thinking perhaps he'd been talking to me, and ask, "Hmm?"

He blushes and says, "Oh, it's just - I was going to ask you to join me for a coffee once we were through, but then I saw your boots, and - well, I figured out that you weren't ... weren't the type of lady who'd take well to that sort of invitation ... from a man ..."

I cock my head, sure I'd misheard him. "Sorry," he mumbles, and wanders off.

Right. 'Cause my boots make me a dyke? Interesting, though, that he arrived at the right conclusion (namely, that I was not going to be having coffee with him) by going down all the wrong pathways.

Because, firstly - I know lots of straight women who wear these boots. They're useful for wearing at Renaissance faires and medieval events (which is, in fact, why I own them), and I have at least one 'faire friend who wears hers to her tech-support job. And as I mentioned, they're great in tall snow.

However - I am, in fact, queer.

However - I do, nevertheless, date guys.

However - I was not, nevertheless, going to be dating, even coffee-dating, this guy.

Because - I'm already seeing someone.

And also because - I'm not a big fan of guys who assume things about me (other than that I am a raging hot vixen) based on my boots.

*remind me some time to tell y'all about hijab-boy...


aurora said...

1) I want pirate boots.
2) ...especially if they repel presumptive males.

wannatakethisoutside said...

As a non-woman, here, I would like to say that you could fuck me in those boots. Not that I'd presume you'd want to. But they are HOT.

I believe it is time to start a campaign for men to wear dyke boots. Or pirate boots. Or whatever. Because that would be amazing.

(ps. icarius, did you notice how i situated myself at the beginning of my post. that was all you.)

icarus said...

god, i love when you situate yourself. it's so hot. i'm sad that i won't get to learn all about race and class in one hour today, though.

wannatakethisoutside said...

I can teach you everything in just 5 minutes. or maybe 2. Call me and I will. If anyone else wants to know the 5 minute version of race and class, let me know and I guess I can post on it.

maudite entendante said...


Psst - there are men's pirate boots on the PottedFox site, too. And yes ... those boots make boys extremely fuckable. Not that you're not already. ;p

Also, volant, you should totally wear pirate boots. They would make you even more fuckable than you already are, too.

(Wow, two days without getting any and the entendante gets *horny,* yo... And guess what? I *still* wouldn't caffeinate myself in the presence of That Guy.)